Saturday, January 22, 2011

Emergency Australian Homesickness Repair Kit

Some of you may have already seen this little gem I came up with but I thought I would share it over my blog so you can send to your friends and families overseas who, at this time, may be feeling those pangs in the cockal or sub-cockal region of their hearts for their good ol' home country.

I actually sent it to a friend as a christmas present as she had recently departed our shores but alas I feel she may not have appreciated my genius so rather than let this (and i'm not exaggerating when I say this) world changing idea go to waste I present to you my Emergency Australian Homesickness Repair Kit.......


1.     Pure Australian sunshine captured from the crisp clean sun found in Sydney’s Royal National Park
2.     Pure Australian air captured from the refined and sweet smelling surrounds of Queensland’s Sunshine Coast
3.     Collection of sea shells farmed from various pristine beaches along Australia’s East Coast from Far North Queensland to NSW South Coast
4.     One jar of vegemite
5.     One Australiana CD containing the hits Land downunder, True blue, I still call Australia home, Tie me kangaroo down sport, Great southern land, Home among the gum trees, Sounds of then (This is Australia), Waltzing Matilda and of course Advance Australia Fair
6.     Packaged in 100% biodegradable Domino’s pizza box, vegemite jars & cling wrap

In case of severe homesickness follow these instructions:
1.     Clear area in room so there are no foreign objects within a 5m radius
2.     Place CD in CD player
3.     Open shell jar and scatter shells on floor
4.     Open air And inhale large amount
5.     Dim lights then open jar of Aussie sunshine (only a small amount is required, high doses have been known to cause sunstroke and skin cancer)
6.     Bask in your now synthetically arranged Australian setting until homesickness symptoms have abated

WARNING: These conditions regularly attract drop bears so it is advisable once homesickness has abated apply large amounts of vegemite to your face to repel said creatures. A jar has been provided for this purpose

And it looks a little something like this....


  1. Just so you know John, I did appreciate this quite a lot. A couch surfer stole the CD you made me which upset me greatly and I used the Vegemite provided to cure hangovers rather than repel drop bears (which dont exist in Canada, its too cold for them).

    However, once I booked my flights back to my beloved country, I passed the jars on to various people. The QLD Sunshine I gave to my Aussie room mate, who originates from the Goldy but hasnt been home in 8 years and the seashells I gave to my wonderful boss, who has always wanted to come to Australia however has a family she has to support.

    The fresh Sydney air I selfishly kept for myself. I had packed all my belongings up and put them in the hallway, shut my bedroom door and opened it in my empty room. I closed my eyes and breathed it all in, I got a big wiff of gum trees and flowers, perfect green grass and a hint of a passing magpie. Towards the end of the sniff I was hit with the strong smell of Sydney traffic and pollution, something that I hadnt experienced in 9 months. It took me a bit by surprise, but made me reminiss on my times spent in Sydney and made me smile.

    So thank you for the kit. It was just what the doctor ordered.

  2. Why Miss Penelope, what a pleasant surprise, how goes it there? Haven't logged into this for about 4-5 months but wanted to get it started up again so I log in today and lo and behold I find this little comment from like a week ago. I'm glad the repair kit came in handy, sorry bout the pollution tho. I wanted to filter it out but didn't for fear of filtering out any native Aussie-ness as well. I hope it didn't leave too much of a stink in your room for the next occupant!