Sunday, May 20, 2012

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!!

DEBRIEFING

 MISSION: Operation Blitzkrieg

 MISSION SUMMARY: Attack Fat occupied strangleholds on my body in an strategically co-ordinated incursion consisting of a collaborated effort between the three troops Cardio, Weights and Nutrition, effecting mass lipicide and overthrowing the current military dictatorship led by General O’Sumwans Bin Eating and Commander in Chief Morbid Obesity

 SPECIFIC GOALS: Over the space of 8 weeks remove 12-15kg of Fat occupied territory effectively halving my bodyfat and growing back three quarters of my hair to allow a proper comb over that no longer stands up on end in defiance of any wind as though it were shaking its fist yelling “you’ll never take me alive you bastard”.

 START WEIGHT: 98.3KG

 FINISH WEIGHT: 85.6kg

 TOTAL LOSS: 12.7kg

 MUSCLE GAINED: App 2-3kg

 HAIR GAIN: None however I did acquire a mullet wig (actually made from real mullets so you know it’s good) that will allow me to do both business and party with equal aplomb without the necessity of changing wigs. I am classing this as a win.

 FINAL RESULT: A whopping 15-16kg of fat has been removed from the host belly. I have also gained a reasonable amount of muscle along with an enormous sense of accomplishment and lingering glances. 

STATUS: Accomplished

At 0600 hours on the 19th March 2012 the first incursion into Fat occupied territory was launched. Since then it has been a constant battle with the infidels attempting to spoil all attempts at clean and healthy living even going so far as poisoning my food leading to a horrible 4 days of illness which gave me a new appreciation of the terms “2 ply” and “soft and fluffy”. During the course of the mission I was also hit with some devastating personal tragedies along with other occurrences which could have easily led to a de-railment of the operation however the forces of good have prevailed and the mission objective has been accomplished.

 “Vini, vidi, vici” is a latin phrase. It is a quote attributed to Julius Ceasar, emperor of Rome and means “We came, we saw, we conquered”. A poignant line and well known historical quote. I learnt it from the same place I have learnt a lot of hard lessons in life – A poker machine at Caringbah pub. It has been used throughout time by many important historical figures and leaders however I think Bill Murray said it best in the classic 80’s movie Ghostbusters when emerging triumphant into the function room of a ritzy hotel, their grey uniforms covered in green ectoplasm from their first encounter with “Slimer” he announced to the stunned crowd “We came, we saw, we kicked it’s ass!”

Whatever way you look at it operation blitzkrieg has been a resounding success. Looking back to my first blog I have come a long way. The whole fitness thing has not just helped to re-shape my body closer to what it once was but as I have mentioned a few times throughout the blog, helped in focusing my mind to make some decisions regarding just where it is I am heading in this mortal coil.

Before I go any further I have to send a huge thankyou to Colonel Ketosis – Scotty Capelin. After reading my first blog and seeing the plan I had set out Scotty contacted me to offer his assistance in the way of a facility (www.tribesocialfitness.com.au) along with advice on exercise and nutrition. With my hand on my heart I can say that, without Scotty, I would have faltered within the first week. His advice on my eating plan and how to tweak it a little for better gains (eating specifically for fat loss rather than performance was a big thing) and his little tips along the way really helped me in getting my game face on.

Tribe is an awesome place to train and I am now an official member. The lads are aiming to take the best of both worlds – personal training and health clubs – and effectively fuse them together so you get the benefits of working out in a large health club with the accountability, friendliness and of a small studio. I think they have nailed it pretty sweetly too. Everyone there - members and trainers alike - are all really friendly and get along with each other giving it a real team atmosphere.

Anyway, enough of thanking Scotty, his head is big enough already. Let’s get back to the real hero of this journey - me. Over the next few days I will be posting a few of the key things I found and discovered during this operation for anyone else that might be considering doing their own challenge.

I’ve made great headway in getting back to my old body, which is what my ultimate goal is. Next challenge will be my second fight – July 27th at Cronulla Leagues club. This should be a great night. Contact me for further ticket info. I will need as much support as possible on site for the night!

Now, the part you have all been waiting for. The photos. Any girls and gays that are reading this I suggest you quickly run and grab a handkerchief or some other form of towel to wipe all the drool which will no doubt be running freely from your mouth at the sight of my freshly hewn torso. You may also find yourself compelled to lock the door, light some candles and play some Barry White. If it happens, it happens, run with it. I won't tell anyone.




1 comment:

  1. Do Tribe have a spray tan booth????

    ReplyDelete